Swingers Club: 10 Things You Need To Know Before You Get Into One
You and your partner have decided to go to a swingers club together and the date is set, all good to go. The expectation is to find a nightclub where flirting with other couples and swapping partner is on the menu, but is that all? Entering a swingers club or swinging for the first time can be daunting and to avoid embarrassing misunderstanding and confrontation with your partner, it is a good idea to discuss boundaries and how far you want to go in the bedroom with other people. Make sure you are also aware of the rules and etiquette of the lifestyle. After all, nobody wants a special night to become a nightmare.
Here are some of the things you need to know before you visit a swingers club for the first time:
1. Who will I meet at the swingers club?Couples who have decided to enjoy sexuality in a non-traditional way. Do not idealize movie scenes with perfect bodies and stories of spies, they are people just like you. In addition, in some clubs single women are allowed to attend, however, single men are not. Another thing that can happen is that not all couples in there actually are in a relationship. Some people go with a friend with benefits to explore their sexuality or even hire escorts just to be able to partake in an orgy.
2. How is it in there?
When you enter there is often a room with lockers where you can safely store your possessions and clothes. Now imagine an ordinary nightclub, only with a few more rooms and different environments. Almost all swingers club have a space with a dance floor and a bar where the flirting can roll loose. The difference is really in the rooms where the action happens. Dark corridors, hot tubs and spas, extra-large beds for obvious uses and even themed environments such as a BDSM room!
3. Themed PartiesIt is not uncommon for swingers clubs to organize theme parties or attractions to spice up one's sexual desire. So get ready to experiment, for example, a Masquerade Party for an extra level of intrigue and seduction, a pole dance show, or enjoy gigs of strippers. A lot of clubs promote also a newbies night for couples who are new to the swinging scene or have never visited a swingers club before.
4. No PhotosThis is perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind as any decent swingers club have a strict no photos policy for the sake of all guests privacy. Most venues ask you to leave your camera or mobile phone in your locker upon arrival. Nobody likes to have their intimacy exposed. So cell phones are strictly prohibited, okay? The tip is to disconnect from the technological apparatus so you both take the time to enjoy the night. Focus on what you and your partner are experiencing together!
5. Will everyone see me without clothes?
Not necessarily, it's up to you. Usually, it works like this: you are not required to undress upon entry and when mingling in the socializing area. However, in most clubs, you are required to dress down to lingerie, underwear, towels or a robe that is provided to all guest. As mentioned above, most clubs provide lockers for you to change from regular clothes to something more provocative.
6. Can't beat the shame?
Do not want anyone seeing you? Look for swingers clubs that offer private rooms, where sex and play can happen more quietly. Some clubs even have the so-called "glory holes," which are openings on the walls where the hands fit. The idea is to spice up the experience even more as you do not have to see the owner of that hand you are playing with.
7. Do I have to participate?
If you've come this far, you've realized that the experience of attending a swingers club is not just about swapping partners. You can listen to music, drink, meet new couples or just watch other people having sex. Yes, swingers clubs are also ideal environment for those who enjoy the good old voyeurism. After all this, you and your partner are horny but still don't want to participate? Go to the private room and enjoy the excitement only between the two of you.
8. When and how does the sex happen?
Swingers club are not just about orgies! It is not because we are talking about open minded couples that there are no rules. Just like a hook up in a nightclub only happens with the consent of two people, in the swingers club the criteria is the same.
No one is obliged, nor should they be, to get involved in any activity with anyone else they don’t want to. Take your time to mingle with other couples to find out what they are they looking for or expecting for the night.
Always ask first and, again, communicating to your partner is really important to avoid embarrassing misunderstandings. You may have liked the company of another couple, but your partner did not. So, keep an eye on the signs that whoever is with you give or agree on some sort of safe word beforehand to make the intention clear for you both when things start to take its path into the play area.
Once you are in the club things will happen naturally and only you will know the time to get into the action, if you decide to.
9. How do I choose the swingers club?Search well before leaving home. Although all establishments are for liberal couples, many are frequented by different age groups or are more or less discreet. It is very important that you are comfortable to enjoy the evening. Also, it is worth asking for information to friends you trust and who have already spoken openly about the experience. Keep an eye on online reviews and check the club’s social media profiles to get a feeling on what to expect.
10. Are you sure?
Lastly, and perhaps the most important of all, have you and your partner discussed the idea of swinging enough? Are you sure you are not partaking on this to satisfy only the need of the other? To achieve total pleasure, it is essential that both of you are genuinely interested in the experience. What is love and what is sex? In the swingers club, do you find pleasure, sex, or can some other kind of involvement happen?
After that conversation, the couple should create the rules and have all boundaries clear: what can and cannot be done, how far are you willing to go, can you exchange numbers with another swinger? These rules, as well as others that may come up, should be very clear. The more the couple talks about fears, concerns, expectations, and intentions, the better the decision and assurance that the experience will not damage the relationship.
Once you are in a swingers club and you both are comfortable and having a good time, embrace the moment and be proud that your relationship is mature and strong enough to enjoy the pleasure of sex with strangers.
On the other hand, if you realize that it was not exactly what you wanted, something is bothering you, jealousy, or any doubt about it arrises, give your partner the heads up. It's time to go home. The experience will only be fulling if the two of you are enjoying yourselves.
- Madame C.