How to Keep Sex Exciting in a Long-Term Relationship
It’s easy to see when a couple have a healthy relationship because some defining characteristics for the success of a shared life can be well analyzed and worked on by the couple. These are matters such as respect, honesty, companionship, friendship, understanding and, of course, sex!
In addition to being determinant for the future of a relationship, keeping sex exciting in a long term relationship even helps people's physical and mental health. A recent survey by the New England Research Institute in the United States showed that men who have sex two to three times a week are 45% less likely to have a heart attack or stroke than those who only have sex once a week or less.
And what is the secret behind the facts? According to the study, more intense sex life reduces stress, one of the major factors that lead to health problems.
Therefore, dear couple, the subject that we will discuss in this article is, besides extremely pleasant, a great guide to a healthier life for two. In the next few lines, you will see how sex can always be good for both women and men and how to keep sex exciting in a long-term relationship.
Lots of foreplay to keep the intimacy alive
One of the main complaints in the sexual psychotherapy clinics is the fast-paced partners in bed. In most cases, the complaint comes from the woman, as they usually require more time and involvement to get aroused. They take longer to be ready for sex, while men by nature get more aroused and tend to get ready to go faster.
For a more satisfying sexual experience, it’s important to dedicate a reasonable amount of time to the foreplay. They increase the couple’s intimacy. So that this attitude of “jumping the gun” doesn’t disappoint one of the parties, the dialogue between the two is essential to reach an understanding together.
Well done foreplay most of the time lead to intense orgasms. This initial caressing strengthens the couple’s bond and may help ward off those natural insecurities (feeling insecure about certain parts of their body, especially).
But like everything in life, the action should be very well balanced, as excessive demands for better performance during this stage will have the opposite effect.
Check out some sure-fire tips to make the foreplay a delightful stage:
Show everything and give lots of kisses
Admiring them getting out of the shower can be a delight for both parties. Try to put aside your worries about your weight or discontentment with your body. Show yourself to your partner.
Confidence is the key to seduction. Show that you desire your partner, and nothing reinforces this more than a provocative kiss during the sex.
Say teasing things through the phone
Sometimes the couple or one of the parties realizes early in the morning that the day will end on a sexy night.
Then it’s only a matter of increasing expectations through actions that the two can do during the day while they are still at work.
In a call or text message, one can tease the other saying provocative things and using spicy expressions.
Do oral sex with expectations
In bed, the woman can kiss all over his body, especially in the groin area. Ideally, you want to tease him to make him crave for the moment when he will finally have his penis inside his partner's mouth.
He can slowly kiss the clitoris so the vagina gets well lubricated. Then, using his tongue, he can lightly touch the clitoris repeatedly and then finally wrap it completely with his mouth.
Pleasantly rubbing against each other
The woman can rub her butt on his penis and then do the same thing with her breasts. This will make him fall head over heels for you. The rule is to allow the imagination to go wild while doing this kind of "massage”, without worrying about time.
The man, on the other hand, can spend some time delicately caressing her breasts with his lips. When he rubs the penis on her clitoris without penetrating it, it will be her turn to be on cloud nine. Kisses on the back of the neck, back and buttocks are also valid.
Erotic games are perfect for the foreplay stage They are fun and exciting. The couple can use all their creativity and makeup games (with accessories ranging from blindfolds, lingerie, sweet drinks, etc.) or purchase products at sex shops.
Make time for sex, anytime!
Ideally, as a couple, you should frequently choose a night where you have all the time and willingness for yourselves to satisfy each other's desires and privacy to be able to moan freely.
However, in our day-to-day routine, we often don’t have time for that planned, long night of sex where everything is allowed. Couples with young children understand very well what we’re talking about. But of course, we already know the importance of sex in a long-term relationship, it can never be left out, even when we don’t routinely have opportunities to do it.
So that couples don’t have to schedule when they are gonna have sex or limit themselves to waiting for the best possible moment (which ends up not happening), the quickie can be a great alternative! It gives immediate pleasure and can be done in different places and while wearing clothes.
Not only that, the quickie comes along with very welcome emotions from the satisfaction of the moment. Because it is "unexpected," there is often that worry about being caught in the act, which can be very exciting in most cases.
By the way, do you know how long a quickie lasts? Or how long does it take for the sex to be considered complete?
According to a University of Pennsylvania study in the United States, with 50,000 people, ten minutes of sexual intercourse is more than enough to get a woman to orgasm. If the sex lasts much further, she may get bored, or even feel guilty for not having made the man come already.
Check the evaluation below:
- Too short: If the sex lasts for 1 to 2 minutes
- Adequate: If the sex lasts for 3 to 7 minutes
- Desirable: If the sex lasts for 8 to 13 minutes
- Too long: Over 14 minutes
Of course, all these numbers are relative. After all, no one better than the couple knows their ideal sex duration.
Many couples have certain inhibitions when it’s time for sex. In some cases, these feelings interfere with sexual pleasure to the point of preventing women from reaching an orgasm or causing psychological impotence in men. In extreme cases, some people even relate sex to something unpleasant that should be avoided.
Experts say that the problem can be triggered by the person's life experiences and their family education when they are not open to talking about the subject. Check out some tips to get over this situation:
Learn to like your body
Embarrassment with the body along with the fear of not being desired enough is one of the main factors linked to sexual inhibition. So the tip for both is to take advantage of what you consider more attractive in yourself: breasts, butt, mouth, height.
A porn movie is good
How about watching a porn movie together? As we all know, fantasizing is part of a healthy sex life. An erotic or pornographic movie contributes to the repository of sensual scenarios in the couple's mind. It can also inspire you to try new things, like that anal sex scene where the husband wanted it like crazy and the woman was curious enough to try.
The couple’s satisfaction begins with personal satisfaction
Sometimes people get so worried if they are satisfying their partners that they neglect their own feelings. The first step to delightful sex is the pursuit of your own satisfaction.
Invest in erotic products
The couple that has the habit of using sex toys during sex is open to new horizons, to the increase of their intimacy and creativity. The fact that there is always something new in sex shops also helps in breaking the routine. The most popular items are vibrators, cock rings, bondage accessories, gels, and lubricants. However, there are many other sex toys to choose from. While searching and experimenting, the couple can find their favorite item.
Practice voyeurism together
How about practicing voyeurism? The idea is quite simple: the woman, for example, lies in bed and begins to masturbate, or even just taking off her clothes, and her partner is there, seeing everything, as if invisible. Voyeurism is one of the most famous fetishes. We can say that most people take pleasure in watching or being watched in a libidinous way. What happens is that these feelings are traditionally inhibited or unspeakable.
Interesting sex positions to spice up a long-term relationship!
It’s common, in a long relationship, to find yourselves in a sex rut. The same places, same schedule, same sex positions. One of the ways to get around this is to bet on new possibilities related to sex positions. Get to know four sexual positions that promise to ward off laziness:
The man sits down and the woman sits on top of him. There will be deep penetration and at the same time she gets his penis, the clitoris will be stimulated.
With the man kneeling, the woman stays with her belly up and with her back on the bed, so that she can rub her feet on her partner's chest during penetration. By holding your knees at your chest level, the man will have great pleasure.
Lying over her
The man stimulates the vagina penetrating and also makes his partner feel the warmth of his body. Kisses and nibbles on her neck and ear are great in this position.
Holding the ankles
With her lying down and him seated, she moves her arms back holding her ankles. He penetrates the partner with her legs contracted, making back and forth movements.
Explore other erogenous zones
Many parts of our body are not considered when it’s time to give and receive pleasure. By habit, we often end up following the same foreplay script and forgetting the countless areas with nerve endings sensitive to touch. For sex to get even better, we'll talk about five erogenous zones that deserve special attention.
How about sliding your tongue down to the chin? Sucking and light nibbles are very enticing.
The nipples are very sensitive to the touch and can give a lot of pleasure, both for men and women. Licking over the areola, sucking and nibbling are the ideal moves to cause shivers all over their chest.
The testicles deserve special affection, which many women forget. The entire region of the scrotal sac and perineum is quite sensitive and most men love receiving kisses and licks down there.
In both men and women, the folds of the buttocks offer a very pleasant sensation when explored with the tongue. This is a good time to dare to give a Greek kiss.
Kisses, nibbles, and licks on the inner thighs are usually very pleasurable. Exploring this area increases the desire for oral sex.
Spice up the relationship with anal sex
If we’re going to talk about taboos, here is a recurrent theme: anal sex. Many couples have a hard time even talking about it. But there’s certainly no lack of desire for that, especially by men. By the way, anal sex is among the biggest sexual fantasies of men.
Intimacy and trust are fundamental to doing it safely and avoiding traumas, and as we know, you have it to spare, so let's get down to the tips:
You must want it
Anal sex requires a high level of desire. You must be really turned on, because for the penetration to be comfortable, the muscles down there have to be relaxed. Anal sex starts with the imagination before the act. And of course, there’s no point in doing it just to please your partner.
Do an enema
An enema is nothing more than cleaning the rectum, introducing a saline solution using a hygienic shower. The practice requires caution, because, according to doctors, the excess of saline alters the intestinal flora. The rectum cleaning also helps the person to be more relaxed, taking away the worry of a possible "accident".
In anal sex, saliva alone won’t be enough to lubricate the area. You need to use lots of lubricants to facilitate penetration and avoid fissures. Besides that, using condoms is a must to avoid contamination. Therefore, the man should never penetrate the woman's vagina soon after removing his penis from her anus.
As a rule of thumb, the penis should be the last to penetrate the anus. Before that, the partner can use his tongue, the tip of his fingers and then the entire finger... After that, two fingers and so on.
The idea is to slowly relax the anal orifice so that when it’s time for the big boy to get in there, everything goes smoothly. Anal plugs also help a lot in this process.
Oral sex to keep intimacy alive
Oral sex is one of the main sex moves and it may seem that there’s not much to say about it. But there’s always room for creativity. How about betting on unpredictable oral sex? Imagine waking your husband in the morning or even in the middle of the night with passionate oral sex?
Or imagine the husband grabbing the woman at some time of the day, taking her underwear off and licking her all over down there? All this leading to that delightful ending.
Feeling pleasure in sucking and licking is not difficult, but reaching an orgasm requires focus.
Check out our tips on the subject:
Him lying on the bed.
The couple is lying on the bed. She slides through his body and kneels between his legs to give him a blowjob. The major advantage of this position is that the man is completely relaxed and thus he can focus all his energy in feeling pleasure. Looking at each other in the eyes is essential to enjoy this moment together.
Her sitting on his face
The man lies on the bed, and the woman sits on his face. In addition to putting the woman in a dominant position, it allows her, in a way, to control the movements, rolling the hips and sliding her vagina all over his face.
While he drives
This practice is delightful but involves some risks. While he drives, the woman, in the passenger seat, bends over to suck him. The great thing about this is the adrenaline because this is dangerous and done in public areas.
Change the environment to avoid a dead bedroom
The lighting is of great importance when it’s time to have sex. A too bright environment doesn’t give out that essential warmth and intimacy and the complete darkness doesn’t help either, as it doesn’t allow the delight of the visual bias of sex. A diffused light provides more interesting results and gives that air of mystery.
A suitable environment helps to enhance the couple's sexual life and avoid a dead bedroom.
Check out some tips:
Take away family pictures
Pictures of your parents, children, and grandparents can be all over your house, except in the bedroom. Unconsciously, the pictures can intimidate both.
Turn off the TV
The couple who has the habit of watching TV in bed should be careful to not let it be so entertaining to the point of leaving the sex for the next day. When you are getting intimate, you should turn off the TV, as well as your laptop and cell phone.
The couple should have a soundtrack of music they both appreciate.
The couple should invest in a motel from time to time, not just on commemorative dates. It's a great opportunity to change things up a bit, get out of the rut and have sex in a prepared environment where fantasies, moans and energy can be released at will.
The last thing we have to suggest to couples is that they have sex a lot, in different ways, experimenting with whatever suits them and be free of any shame or guilt.
As we all know, a healthy sex life is essential and even helps developing other aspects of a good relationship.
We hope that reading this article has opened you up for new interesting possibilities or to new ways of having sex. Sex is life, it’s joy and fulfillment.
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- Madame C.